It has been such an interesting week. We had some yummalicious Spring Sangria, examined a Space-Time Conundrum and pondered Freezing Eggs. I thank Shruti, Sarita, and Amit with all my heart for being a part of this challenge.
The post I chose as my week’s winner really resonated with what women of my age are going through. Having been married for over a year now, the constant question that my husband I keep getting asked is ‘when are going to hear the pitter-patter of little feet?’ (Sometimes it feels like its being used as an ice breaker by older relatives as they don’t know what else to say to you. They’ve already asked about your work, your family, where you stay… what next?.. ah yes! kids! Well, I normally don’t give it much of a thought.) However, that’s handling other people, what about the battle you are fighting with yourself.
I’ve had a few conversations with my girl friends about the same. Some of them are either doing well at work or like me, just about getting their act together. Can you afford to take the break? When will you be ready? Will you ever be ready? Will you feel guilty if you stop working and concentrate on home or will you feel guilty if you go back to work and miss out on an integral part of your baby’s childhood? It sure is a conundrum. Is freezing your eggs an answer?
TO FREEZE OR NOT TO FREEZE?!?
By Sarita Deshpande
I’m sure you all know what I am talking about – to freeze a woman’s eggs! If you seriously thought of any other freezing, you have not been reading the news paper or watching the discussion on the news channels. Everyone has an opinion on that ….and so have I!
For the uninitiated, I am referring to the news that Apple and Facebook have decided to fund (partially, I presume) the freeing of women’s eggs so that they don’t have to worry about the ‘biological clock ticking away’ and have to have children when they are in their prime “productive” (the productive work) years. These eggs can be frozen and then used (after they are thawed) later. What an idea Sirji!!!
It would be so good. The girls (women) could just concentrate on their work and not worry about the bachha party at home. Men folk, beware – the girls are here to take your place. Now your calculations of getting that top job are in jeopardy…the women are also contenders.
I wish we had an option like this when we started working. At 50 now, I have only an on-off work (I call it freelance work – it sounds better) but I could have been occupying the top job somewhere!!! The title of CEO or “Chairperson” sounds so good before my name!!!! Sigh! This was not be! So at 50, I have some work that stimulates my mind. I have two grown up children who are responsible for themselves – unless I want to interfere in their lives, which I do occasionally, and they just bear with me. I have time for travel, meeting friends, reading, and most importantly – for myself!
But would I want to trade my life with the woman who would freeze her eggs to concentrate on work? NO! Even if it meant that I would achieve greater success at work. Think of two small children at 50, worrying about school admission, learning problems, extra but mandatory activities, the need for a full time help, ……,….. No, not me! I’m done with this and I am enjoying my life. I have worked, earned enough to keep me satisfied, am now dabbling in areas that are of my interest, and free from tension of very young children. I love the fact that I can sit with my children over a cup of coffee and talk on any topic, relate to them and their thoughts and their friends are also my friends.
On a serious note, it is having children only about having them? Shouldn’t giving birth to a life be more than one more job that can be procrastinated? What does one work for? I agree that one gets a high when a job is well done and is appreciated. It also gives a boost to ones self confidence and the need to achieve a higher goal. But why should one sacrifice the joy of having children? They will be there to enjoy your achievements. This will happen only when one has children at the correct time and not leave it for later. The connect between parents also depends on the age difference between them. So a 40 or a 45 year age gap is like a divide of not one, but two generations!
In my case, is it a case of sour grapes? No, I don’t think so. I happy as I am with the decisions I have taken. I’m looking forward to my grandchildren – to spoil them and hand them back to their parents when they need to be disciplined.
So, to freeze or not to freeze, is a question which only you can answer!